Powerful Questions Podcast: What would your friend say?
Whenever you face difficult times, whenever you make bad decisions or simply make a mistake… What are you saying to yourself in these moments?
Are you being tough on yourself or are you being kind?
Are you making yourself feel worse or better?
Are you beating yourself up or are you being supportive?
I think very often we make things worse for ourselves instead of better. We are our own worst critic instead of trying to be our own best supporter.
A helpful way to get out of this is to think: what would your friend say? You don’t have to literally imagine one of your friends and what they would say. You can also just think in general: how would a good friend treat you at this moment? Or it might be easier for you to imagine it with roles changed: if your best friend was in a situation like this, what would you say to them? How would you treat them?
A good friend would not judge you or think worse of you as a person – even if you have made a mistake. Especially if you recognize your mistake and would never want to repeat it again. We are all human and we all make mistakes – the question is, how do you deal with yours.
A good friend will try to make you feel better, not worse. They would try to console you in any way they can and be kind to you. They would not spend time beating you up because of what happened.
A good friend would be realistic. They would neither promise you something that is impossible to predict nor become overly negative and create catastrophic scenarios.
A good friend would be patient with you. They would respect the time and space you need to recover or get through something. They would not rush you into anything that you are not ready to do.
A good friend would help you get up and continue moving towards your vision when you are ready to. They would support you in getting back on your feet without making you depend on them. They would empower you to become your best self again and to leave behind the unnecessary baggage.
So now, reflect on the last time you were unhappy or stressed by something, or when you had to deal with a tough time period in your life. Did you treat yourself like a good friend?
Were you non-judgmental towards yourself?
Did you not let your self-worth be affected by the mistakes you have made?
Did you try to make yourself feel better?
Were you realistic in trying to understand what happened?
Were you patient with yourself and allowed yourself to take your time to recover?
Did you help yourself stand up and move forwards towards your goals when you were ready?
Did you behave as a good friend towards yourself?
Next time you are facing difficult times or you struggle with something, ask yourself: what would a friend say? Be your own best friend. Treat yourself with love – you deserve it, and you should be the first person to love yourself. Be kind to yourself and be your best friend.