• Natalie Schiebener

Powerful Questions Podcast: What makes you feel confident?

I'm sure that there are some people who are confident in every situation, but for me this is a struggle and a journey. Self-confidence to me doesn’t mean being arrogant, or pushing other people’s boundaries. It is assertiveness, knowing yourself and what you are capable of and being comfortable with that.

Being more confident will have real impact on your life. It is associated with being happier, having less fear and anxiety, having more energy and motivation and, in the end, being more successful.

Research shows that women tend to struggle with confidence more than men. A study by Cornell University found than men overestimate their abilities and their performance, while women underestimate both. Of course it is not true for all men and all women, but the general tendency is there.

My feeling is that confidence (or lack of confidence) often has something to do with what other people think. Often we are afraid of demonstrating confidence because we think that other people will judge us as over-confident or arrogant of as being a fraud.

To be honest, I don’t think that other people really spend so much time thinking about us. If they do judge us, it is usually no more than a short thought, or they might have some fun time discussing what you did or how you are with a friend or a colleague. So what? As Jane Austen wrote in my favorite book of hers, “Pride and Prejudice”: “For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?”

I would like to share with you some of my tricks to feeling more confident.

  1. Remembering proof for your competence. Think about everything that qualifies you in the area where you want to feel more confident.

  2. Changing the way you are in your body. Change your posture, straighten your back. Speak louder.

  3. Thinking about a situation where you have felt at the top of your game. Remember the feeling that you had at that moment. T

  4. For me, appearance matters in feeling more confident. If Imlook professional at work, I will feel more confident.

So think about it for yourself: What makes you feel more confident? Is it something physical, like smiling or holding your head up high? Is it something you can think of, like a certain day in your life? Is it a song you can listen to that immediately changes your mood and makes you feel powerful? Is it a certain phrase or an affirmation that you can say to yourself?

Create your own confidence toolbox!

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